Author: snelson

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Lesson from my high school drama teacher: Encouragers leave legacies.

therefore-encourage

Have you ever thought, “I wonder if I would be good at….” or “ I wish I had tried to….” Listening to the cry of our hearts and being all that we desire, is often difficult if we are required to completely self-motivate.

I had a drama teacher in high school, Mr. Earl Byers, who taught me, through his example, the importance of empowering others. Like many of my classmates, I took an introductory drama class my freshman year because it sounded fun and fulfilled part of the Fine Arts requirement. To this day, it is one of the classes I can recall many moments from and still count some of my classmates as friends. This I know: besides just a few in the class, none of us were “gifted” actors. However, that Mr. Byers could get us to do the craziest things on improv day and he knew how to make us believe that no matter how small, our contribution meant everything to the production.

Because of that class, I took part in numerous musicals and plays throughout my high school years. Most of my roles were small but Mr. Byers would take the time to coach me, individually at times, to get the reaction he was looking for or make me take my little part more seriously. One time, he let me order an extra costume, even though my part did not really require numerous costume changes. I now realize, this was his way of bringing out the best in each student. My favorite memory, was when he awarded me the lead in a play when I had not officially tried out for it. That production ended up being selected for some prestigious awards and I got to experience performing in competitions and on stage at the Ahmanson Theater in Los Angeles. I count those experiences as priceless. I saw on Facebook the other day, another student in my graduating class had dinner with Mr. Byers last week. In her post, she said she cried when she left him because she realized what an impact this man had on her life. I get it! It is powerful when a person who you respect, believes in you. Powerful.

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Anyone need a match? Let’s get a fire going!

 

imagesHave you ever been consumed over something? It could be anything: A new home, a sports team, a hobby, or even a political candidate? Our passions are what often give us motivation. Passions are what make us simpatico with some and different from others. I believe passion is God-given, for when passion is ignited within us, we feel most alive. When we are passionate about something and we hit a roadblock, it can be most disturbing, because the fire that burns and gives light to our life starts to fade. Keeping the embers going is tough work and sometimes needs the assistance of others.

Once a year, I serve with an organization called Thrive Ministries (formerly Women of the Harvest), as a counselor/therapist to passionate women who need to be reminded that their passion is worthy. These global workers are feet on the ground, serving the homeless, the fatherless and the truly humbled around the world. They are teaching, helping the impoverished to build homes and businesses, risking their lives to get women and children out of prostitution and sex trafficking, and when they do this, they get tired. These women do what they do and they also raise children of their own, learn new languages, get sick where good healthcare is unavailable and miss their friends and family back in the United States. But they go because they are fueled by a deep passion.

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Denial Is Not A River In Egypt: Intentionally Preparing For The Current Of Transitions

imagesFor the last two weeks, I have watched on Facebook as many of the teens I have known since they were barely potty trained, begin life on their own in a college dormitory. Pinterest and Target have made the dorm room experience post-worthy for sure, as the pictures make me want to redecorate my own home with cute bulletin boards and new throw pillows. I am excited for these sweet kids because I remember the exhilaration I had when I went off to college for the first time. And let’s be honest, college memories truly do last a lifetime. If my husband has to sit through my college bestie Karen and I, relive our adventures one more time, he may leave me.

Having college-ready kids comes with a feeling of accomplishment, as parents finally get to pat themselves on the back for all those nights of homework help and the carpooling that never ended. It is exciting for parents to see the babies that they nurtured making adult decisions. But I have also sat with a couple of mama’s who, after the excitement of the big move, have felt some of the emptiness that comes when one realizes this change is real. My friend Tammy shared that move in day was so busy and fun that she was able to hold it together. However, what really got her was when she began cleaning her house the next day, there was no toothpaste in her daughter’s sink and no clothes thrown everywhere. It was then that she lost it.

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Getting The Junk Out of Your Trunk – Clear Out Your Emotional Trash

file0001731376547I just put 12 bags of clothes and household goods on my front porch, to be picked up by a local charity. There is something so satisfying about moving out the junk in my house. I wish I could say that the job is now complete, but like most people, I could stand to unload another 12 bags to get my drawers and closets where I would like them to be. It is amazing what our small family of 4 has accumulated in the 13 years we have lived in this home.

I always get a kick out of my girls when I ask them to assist in the cleaning out process. There are always items added to the pile that were hung on to just long enough, that we are able to recall how desperate they were to own it and how ridiculous that now seems. Fortunately there are also those moments where I hear, “I forgot I had this! I love this! I am going to use/wear this tomorrow!”

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That is between you and the Lord: Allowing others a personal relationship with God

ToleranceI grew up in a no-nonsense Christian home. My parents did not apologize for their faith, their lifestyle choices and their commitment to principles not always popular in mainstream culture. They also were, to this day, the greatest example to me of what it means to be gracious, hospitable and sacrificially loving. I often heard my mom say in response to those that disagreed with her theology, “You know, that is between you and the Lord.” She also used this boundary setting technique with me, when I challenged things as a teen and early in my adult life. Quite simply, she had a belief system that she was comfortable with and yet, she allowed others to explore their beliefs, hear from God and be completely unique in their world view. Because of this, she had an enormous circle of friends from many walks of life, with whom she was able to enjoy deep relationship. When I think of tolerance, this is what I envision.

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Gratitude Is Not Faith

GratitudeI often meet with people who begin therapy with, “I have never told anyone this before.” Part of my job is to be an unbiased, objective listener so I am used to this pre-qualifier. I will never get used to what often follows. What often follows, is simply an honest admittance that life is hard and there is no one in this person’s life who will let them be real about life occurrences that happen to so many of us: illness, death, job loss, disappointment, addiction, betrayal, abuse, spiritual battles, and the list goes on. Why is it that so many have few people to share life with?

There is a wave in our society right now that is calling for “gratefulness”, for the abundance that the United States has experienced for a long time. It is true, that as a nation, we are rich in resources and opportunity. Most, and I don’t mean all, healthy people in the United States have access to some support, to live a life beyond the streets. For that, there absolutely has been a lack of understanding of what it means to live without and to fight daily, to simply live. When I travel with Thrive Ministries, around the world, I see firsthand, the poverty and degradation that many in our world are subject to. I serve a population of women sacrificing daily to see this eradicated, so the need for gratefulness is not lost on me. Our first world mindset often forgets that the majority of souls, living in this world, are every day facing the challenge of simply staying alive another day and for many, making life choices that sacrifice their hearts and souls to survive. Our nation would do well to cultivate a spirit of gratefulness, to keep our hearts humble and motivate us to share more than what is expected. Gratefulness is a wonderful attribute.

But as most people can attest if they live long enough, our life journey is more than having food on the table or even, having the latest cell phone. Even those in the most fortunate of situations, still battle through life. From the poorest to the most wealthy, people suffer. All people encounter difficulty far beyond what they ever imagined as they dreamed a plan for their life. As a Christian, I believe that God can turn any pain into dancing. I have experienced it in my own life and I have seen it in the lives of others. However, I wonder if this attachment to gratefulness or a “positive outlook” has clouded our need for honesty, for God’s work, and for faith that all things work together for good. Yes, all things work together for good, but NOT ALL THINGS ARE GOOD!

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