Y’all know that I don’t love it when popular culture runs wild with terminology used in therapy. So many terms being misused out there! Not everyone is bi-polar or narcissistic, for your information. Recently someone told me that she was recovering from a self care drunken night out with friends and I admit, I winced. People! You shouldn’t have to recover from self care!
Now before you go thinking that I am judgey and start rolling your eyes in my direction, let me clarify that if going out with the girls and throwing back a few is a good time for you, by all means go. But if you are calling this event self care, be sure that after participating in the event, you can honestly say you are a much better person for going and you are more ready to take on the world because of the time spent. A good time is a good time but it isn’t always self care.
Another misconception is that if a tired mommy can just get a bubble bath every once in awhile, she can check self care off her To Do list and be ready to take on whatever comes her way. While a long soak is a wonderful end to the day for some of us, that isn’t quite enough for most people. It might take the edge off but self care is meant to go a little deeper.
When women come to me for counseling because they feel overwhelmed by the responsibilities of life, the dynamics of relationships and the pitfalls of living in this world, neither one night out with some friends or a fancy hygiene ritual is likely to be the fix. The women who pay for ongoing counseling are coming because in their journey of life, they lost their sense of self along the way and they need some tools to recapture their empowered self. 
Self care, in the therapeutic sense addresses more than just the needs at the surface. It addresses the calling of one’s intellectual, physical and spiritual self. Let’s break these down practically so that you can start thinking of your own ideas of how to feed these areas of your life.
MIND: We are learners by nature. We are happiest when we are thinking about, reading about and listening to subjects and ideas we are interested in. What are you doing to feed your mind and keep your thoughts positive?
BODY: Our bodies need sustenance, rest and rehabilitation. Take a look at how you are treating your body and ask yourself if you are getting the nutrition and exercise needed for your busy life. Are you taking time to go to the doctor, the gym, the nutritionist or the salon?
SOUL: It is far too easy to overlook the needs of our heart. What are rituals that feed your soul? Do you meditate or journal? Do you spend time in nature or take time to read the Bible? Is there a self-help book you have wanted to dive into?
This just scratches the surface of self care but I hope it gets you thinking. When we take good care of ourselves, we are empowered to better care for others. You will know that your self care is effective, not because you have to recover from it, but rather you will feel prepared and able to better serve others!
As always, let me know if I can help.
With love,
Sonia
everyone needs a little
