A friend of mine from grad school…LISA LEAHEY….is now a two-time inspiration to this blog of mine. This woman is about to embark on an amazing career as a speaker and author (with a little counseling on the side) because she has an ability to get to the point, the actual point, in an instant. We were chatting today about a speaking opportunity and got side tracked, and ended up talking about my blog. Then she made the astute point that if my blogs were starting to have a theme, I should embrace that, not run away from it. Theme in our lives can lead to having a specialty!
But my recurring blog theme is GRIEF! Let’s face it, grief is not something that one wants to run into the arms of, on a regular basis. As humans, we want to avoid grief and we long for carefree moments and happier times. Are you are like me? I plan vacations as much for the anticipation of the relaxation and the escape, as the event itself. Choosing to embrace grief seems unnatural and wrong. Grief is scary and emotional, but a part of our lives, nonetheless. Planning a vacation isn’t going to take that away.
I have blogged about the loss of parents and loved ones, the loss of relationship, and the loss of health. And yet, all this blogging did not protect me from the loss of a friend just a couple weeks ago now. Oddly enough, my friend Shelly Dana was the heartbreak I felt when I posted during October, Breast Cancer Awareness month. She was taken by that cancer just a couple of days after Christmas this year and I find myself grieving yet again. And because I cannot help myself, I am analyzing the loss, so that I can offer the experience to those I serve as a counselor. It is different than the others…it is the same and different, all at the same time.
The obvious part of losing my funny, adventurous, smart, beautiful and spiritual friend is that I will not get to spend time with her again on this earth. She always made ME feel funny, adventurous, smart, beautiful and spiritual when I was with her so I am going to miss that kumbaya-ness that Shelly brought to our gatherings. But there is more…there is much more…that makes this complicated.
Continue reading “Embracing the theme that life serves up: Using grief and loss as a motivator”
