Rebuild: Loss after laying it on the field

Caring about football is new to me. I grew up in a boy-house, so I had lots of opportunity to be a fan, if I had wanted that. A father and two brothers who love sports meant that our weekends and Monday nights were filled with games on TV. But it wasn’t until my girls started attending Baylor University, and I got caught up in their underdog team, that I became passionate. I am now a crazy fan who has lucky Baylor clothes and I admit to having screamed, cheered, prayed…all on behalf of a team, playing a game.

Having my team go to the championship game, in my girl’s senior year, was something I predicted their freshman year, and I have been anticipating the game all season. When my Bears lost their first string quarterback early in the game, to a concussion, I was praying for a miracle. We almost got it. I really thought we had it, when our third string QB passed for a touchdown tying the game. Losing in overtime, after watching those boys lay it all on the field was heartbreaking.

In those final seconds, when it became clear that the game could not be won, I had an aha about how this relates to everyday life.

Have you ever laid it all on the field of life…in a relationship, a job, or a dream…only to lose in the final moments? Has your heart been broken by situations or by people, in a way that impacts you for a long time? Have you, at those times, felt defeated in a way that makes you question if all the hard work was worth it?

Broken hearts and broken dreams can either steal our hope or empower us for more. It all depends on how we process and learn from those seasons of life. I have brokenness in my past. I am refusing to let it ruin me. How about you? Do you have situations that need reframing, and healing so that you can move forward with wisdom, learned skills, new dreams and vision for your future?

Experience tells me that when we allow healing to take place, the new relationships, new dreams and new possibilities can wow us in a way we never thought possible! But we must let the good in! What, in your life, do you need to embrace as part of the journey so that you can move into new life?

As always, let me know if I can help. But don’t call on January 1… I will be cheering for my Baylor Bears who will, no doubt, be even better on the field than ever!

With love,


Stranger Danger: When do we outgrow, “Don’t talk to strangers!” ?

New relationships can facilitate growth

When my twins were little, we attracted a fair amount of attention wherever we went. It turns out, people are fascinated with twins, even when the sleep deprived parents look like they are near death. This was not a big deal when they were babies, but as soon as they were old enough to walk and talk, the parental level of alertness increased, for the people who would interact with our girls. We met some really nice people this way. However, I will never forget the eerily calm request to “back away”, coming from my husband, when he observed a strange man offering our girls candy and stroking one of our daughter’s hair, in an airport. Who would imagine that someone would be so brazen with parents so close? It could have been that we didn’t look like we had the energy for any kind of fight. Regardless, so began the conversations with our children about strangers being “the enemy.”

I have been struck lately, both as I counsel and as I live life, that those who we are familiar with are not necessarily any safer or more of a beneficiary, than those who we have never seen in our life. In fact, sometimes those who we have known or those who feel like they know us, are more dangerous to us, than those who do not. They can be dangerous because when we feel safe, we often don’t acknowledge that someone we trust could knowingly or unknowingly hurt us. As statistics prove, sexual abuse of children more often occurs between a trusted adult and child, than between strangers. This is also statistically true with home invasion. Yet, as adults we live with an expectation that those we are familiar with, those who have known us a long time and those who we interact with on a regular basis, hold more standing, and we don’t always keep our internal antenna on the alert for those who may not always have our best interest at heart. While we might not be in danger of overt abuse, we may through our negligence, get stuck in a less than productive or even hurtful dynamic. More importantly, we often hide from strangers who actually might be exactly what we need for our personal or career growth.

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