Discernment: Use it or lose it

If I had a dollar for every time a client said to me…

“I knew that I shouldn’t have (married that guy, trusted that person, stayed in that job, gone to that party, taken that loan, bought that car, tried that drug….) but I ignored the feeling”…

Well, let’s just say I would have a few dollars.

We all have an inner compass that guides us through life. We refer to it as our gut, intuition, our energy, the Holy Spirit. That internal guide works to convict us, warn us, alert us and protect us. It can also work to confirm decisions, tell us who to trust and push us to do something good. But for some reason, many times when we are getting our strongest messages, we hesitate to listen because it may mean that we have to give up something we want or alter our path to a journey that appears more difficult to navigate and because of that, we ignore it.

Unfortunately, when we fail to trust our gut, listen to our heart, and use our discernment, it all gets a little foggy. That muscle doesn’t increase in strength, it gets weak and confused and maybe even stops working at all, leading to more bad decisions, disappointment and heartbreak.

Ohhhh….if I could back up my own life and walk away earlier from that bad business partner, that terrible church, that boss….right? Can you think of times that you allowed yourself to get beat up because you didn’t listen to that inner voice?

If you feel like you need to strengthen that muscle again, take some steps to build it up by pushing the pause button when it starts to work for you. Here are some questions to ask yourself when you are wondering if you should listen to the warning bell ringing in your head, or pay attention to the red flag waving at you:

Do I have to make this decision RIGHT NOW or can I take some time to get good counsel and think it through?

Am I making this decision just to please other people?

Does this decision benefit me as much in the future as it does in the present?

Is this situation similar to anything in my past? If so, can I use the wisdom gleaned from that situation to inform this one?

Is there anything about my situation that appears too good to be true? Should I examine this a bit more?

Will other people get hurt by this decision? Do I need to consider that before I commit to it?


Discernment is a gift. You may not always like what it is telling you to do. Honestly, that most likely is the time to really listen. Learning to trust the spirit in you is a process that leads to empowerment. Give it a try.

As always, let me know if I can help.

With love,

Sonia

ADHD: Anything other than meds?

I used to be a high school teacher, so I am well aware of what it is like to have kids with Attention Deficit Hyperactivity Disorder, as students in a class. One of my most memorable parent-teacher conferences was with a student and their father, where the father kept getting up to “roam” as we discussed how to manage his child in class. If dad can’t sit through a 30 minute conference….I wish I had known then, what I know now!

As I work with parents who are navigating online school during this Covid season, many parents are understanding how frustrating it can be for their students who struggle with focus. I can also imagine that there are some teachers out there, who are welcoming this season of parents gathering awareness, of what their child is like in class. Hopefully this post will give both parents and teachers some ideas! ADHD can be very manageable and some of the most talented people overcome the limitations of ADHD, and use the energy of this condition to do AMAZING things! Never use diagnosis as a lifetime limitation. Use it to empower!

For those of you who are wondering if your child has ADHD, here is a good definition for you:

Attention deficit hyperactivity disorder (ADHD) is a mental health disorder ( I prefer the word “condition”) that can cause above-normal levels of hyperactive and impulsive behaviors. People with ADHD may also have trouble focusing their attention on a single task or sitting still for long periods of time. Both adults and children can have ADHD.

It is important to remember that everyone has “wiggles” that need to get out, through exercise and movement. It is not good to diagnose every kid who has some extra energy as ADHD. But if you notice that even with lots of exercise and a good amount of breaks from concentration, you or your child have wandering thoughts, lack of focus, inability to complete regular tasks, poor job performance, and issues with relationships, spurred from an inability to stay attentive in conversation, it might be something you consider. Always seek professional advice before starting a protocol.

Some common medications being used right now for ADHD are Contempla, Mydayis, and Strattera. While the results vary, many people do not like the side effects that can come with taking these drugs: fatigue, nausea, dry mouth, dizziness, bad mood. People are sometimes forced to choose between the side effect and the original struggle. The good news is that an ADHD diagnosis does not always end in taking medication. Everyone needs to choose what is best for their situation.

If you are feeling like “something has to change” but you are hesitant to go the medication route, maybe try some of these ideas!

Diet:
The first place to start is with diet. Did you know that there are some foods known to trigger ADHD? Foods such as milk, chocolate, soy, wheat, tomatoes, grapes, oranges and corn have been found to cause ADHD reactions in a large number of people. Additionally, foods rich in protein, lean beef, pork, poultry, fish, eggs, beans, nuts, soy, and low-fat dairy products, can have beneficial effects on ADHD symptoms. (Protein-rich foods are used by the body to make neurotransmitters, the chemicals released by brain cells to communicate with each other. Good to know if you have a family member struggling!)

A good book to take a look at is The ADHD Diet by Martin Meyer. (Amazon)  It is full of ideas to get your body working on your side!


Can Do Sitting Wedge:
Often times wiggling produces stimulation, resulting in more wiggling. Help yourself or your child sit still with a comfortable wedge that reduces stimuli and allows focus through less movement. These wedges are also good for posture and achy backs so it is a win-win. Click here for this much needed tool. 

Exercise:
Folks with ADHD need breaks from sitting still, more than most. Having a mini trampoline close to a work area is such a great idea for getting some energy out quickly. Those working from home might break for a walk around the block. While a long workout can be helpful as well, short energy burst exercise can help with productivity during a school or work day. Also, if your child has an opportunity to be part of an athletic team, take advantage of that! And don’t take those activities away, as a punishment, or you will only be punishing yourself!

Homeopathic supplement:
I always like to include a homeopathic remedy in my posts! Homeopathic remedies can be purchased at your local health food store or online and are often a good thing to try before you go the prescription drug route:

Hyoscyamos 6c twice daily for a period of months. Evaluate at 6 weeks and discontinue if there are no results. As always, consult your pharmacist for drug interaction with any prescriptions you might be already taking. Unlike prescription drugs, homeopathic supplements do not create artificial stimulus so do not use this for staying awake longer or creating hyper focus, as it won’t work that way.

Limit time on devices:
Oh…this is so hard nowadays! But just because your sweet child finally calms down when they are allowed to veg-out with their phone or the TV, you are setting them up have disrupted sleep (which is bad for ADHD) and restlessness later in the day. The reason is that devices are full of stimuli! And stimuli, for someone with ADHD, causes more stimuli (remember the wedge?)….so calm down another way.

Of course, this is just a snapshot of what can be done for someone with ADHD but it might be just enough to get you on a productive path to emotional health. As always, let me know if I can help.

With love,


Sonia

Moodiness: When It’s A Girl Thing

Let’s face it. Women hate to be called out on mood associated with menstrual cycle. But if you think about it, a system that is designed to create energies in the body, inform sexuality, and when used at full capacity, make a baby, is going to be just a bit complex. To make that system work well, one might have to give it a little attention.

….MIND, BODY, SPIRIT…it is all connected for sure…

As a therapist, part of my intake with clients involves asking a number of questions about diet, exercise, and other life choices that contribute to mood and sadly, cycles in both men and women are often a contributor to low grade depression, anxiety and general irritability.

Most of my job is to do talk therapy around the trauma and/or current dilemma that the client is experiencing but I spend a decent amount of time recommending ways to keep physical health in check, to support mental health. While it is different for each client, I have found some protocols are being suggested on a regular basis, so I am going to include them from time to time in my blog, so that clients have a place to reference this information easily.

There are some women who experience changes in mood every month. Other women are surprised at different seasons of life such as puberty, mid twenties, after the birth of a child or as they approach menopause, and are ashamed that they can’t control the flux in hormones by sheer will power. Did I mention that this system is complex? Take a breath, give yourself some grace and ask yourself what you are doing to create harmony in your spiritual, physical and emotional self. Every little bit helps to getting yourself on the right track.

If you feel that physically something is “off” and you want to support your health with supplements especially designed for the symptoms you are experiencing, here is a protocol suggestion for you. As the disclosure at the bottom confirms, I am not a medical doctor. I am a psychotherapist who loves homeopathy. This is the form I use with young women and older women, who have had enough of the physical part contributing to their mood swings.


Protocol for struggle with mood and menstrual challenges


Symptoms: Fluctuations with mood that coincide with menstrual cycle. Physical symptoms can include fatigue, acne or breakouts, head ache, lower back ache, irregular menses, cramps related to menses (both before and after flow), mild depression or low feeling, irritability

Be sure to cut out sugars, alcohol and caffeine as much as possible, although green tea is always welcome to any protocol because of the antioxidant properties. Alcohol and Caffeine, in soda and coffee, act as depressants and while they can cause alertness at first, the end result is fatigue, sluggishness and even mild depression. Tea is a great alternative since it metabolized differently and does seem to have as many adverse reactions. Also…a little dark chocolate doesn’t hurt anyone!

Daily exercise that includes rapid movement such as 25 jumping jacks, running up a flight of stairs, jumping on a mini trampoline for a couple minutes, running in place, or jumping rope. Do this exercise on the hour, 4x during the day to encourage circulation. Circulation causes supplements to work better and also keeps serotonin from having a “build up” and then “dump” in your system.

Be sure to drink water to encourage supplements to flow through system throughout the day. If possible, that water should be as pure as possible.



Morning:

Multivitamin: Choose a plant based or organic multi vitamin whenever possible. One that I recommend is Pharmaton Advance Multivitamin and Mineral. It has ginseng which is good for energy. Vitamins made in Germany tend to be organic and high quality. This can be purchased at Amazon.com.

Add-on: Vitamin D3, 5000 IU. This does not have to be any special brand, just a decent brand. Take 2 a day for two weeks and then take 1 a day. Vitamin D deficiency is common for most adults, (unless they are a farmer or a lifeguard). Vitamin D impacts serotonin and is essential for mood.

Add on: Vitamin C, 1000 mg. Liposomal vitamin C is the best, as it is better tolerated, but get what works for your budget. Vitamin C helps with infection, including breakouts. It is best to take it early in the day because it provides energy and may disrupt sleep if taken too late.

Vitanica Brand supplements for hormone imbalance:
1. Slow Flow Menstrual Flow Support
2. Fem Rebalance, Hormone Balance Support.

Take as directed on packaging. After 2 weeks, evaluate if this can be altered.

Nightime:

Liv Lullaby CBD for sleeplessness, headache, cramping or night time anxiety: Take one soft gel 30 minutes before bed. Use pharmaceutical grade only. Here is a link: couchtime.livlabsnow.com

Other CBD products can be layered for high levels of depression and/or anxiety. Seek consult before layering.


Sepia: Sepia is a homeopathic remedy created from fish oils. It helps with most of the symptoms listed above. Take 5 pellets daily, each night before bed to help with mood, cramping, flow, back ache and vaginal dryness or aches. I like the brands Boiron or Hylands. Sepia can be found at your local or online health food store or amazon.com.

Hepar Sulphuris: This is an all natural antibiotic that addresses chronic or cyclical breakouts related to hormone imbalance. Can be taken daily or at the time of the breakout. 5 pellets before bed is a good place to start. Schedule can be altered as symptoms occur. I like the brands Boiron or Hylands.

Other products recommended at consultation: (this is specific to each client)

Remember that every new protocol might need a little time to work well. Give yourself grace as you implement new habits. None of these remedies require a prescription and the above protocol should not be considered medical advice. These are supplements that have shown to help women who struggle with symptoms related to menstrual cycle. If you have an adverse reaction to any of the supplements, please discontinue use immediately. It is recommended that this protocol be shared with any medical professional that is treating you so that they can evaluate interactions with any prescription medication. Pharmacists are often the best resource for supplement interaction information.

As always, let me know if I can help.

With love,

Sonia