This morning I awoke to a feeling of peace after being a part of something extraordinarily beautiful. The last four days I “lakeside retreated” with a tribe of women who gathered to honor a dear friend, a precious soul I know from my college days, who is celebrating her 50th year on earth. We each had a unique story to share about how we met our mutual friend but the sentiment about the relationship was similar, in that we had each been drawn to this friendship because of the reciprocity that came with it. Each woman gathered, shared stories that characterized the friendship as honest, fun, encouraging and dependable.
Engage with others and you will begin to create a legacy.
As we honored my friend, connections grew, even in this short time, between all the women present. There was a give and take that is somewhat rare these days. From the deep conversations on the couch, to the dance party on the last evening, life was shared between women who were willing to engage. As a therapist, I could not help but observe, that although life had dealt each of these women challenges and hardships, they were empowered by authentic encounters and they weren’t afraid to be vulnerable and real. These women were not afraid of leaving an imprint on another person’s life.
While it did not surprise me that my lovely friend had a posse of women creating legacies similar to hers, it highlighted to me the need to share the idea of legacy in the counseling space. When clients come in, fraught with trauma, it is easy to focus on how to get to the other side. So often it is easy to forget that God allows difficulties in our lives so that we are better able to assist those around us through their struggles. Richness and fullness in life is often best experienced when we jump into the trenches with one another. Restoration is accomplished not only when we are able to conquer the adversity in our life, but when take our lives to the next level and assist others to battle the adversity in theirs.
Your offering to this world is enhanced because of the trials you have encountered.
What is the victory that you have to offer another human being? Have you survived cancer or divorce? Have you raised a special needs child? Is your marriage an example of a relationship that defies all odds? Have you overcome shame? Or, have you claimed victory over the feeling that you haven’t had a fulfilling life because you haven’t married, had children or achieved the success you dreamed of in your career? Where are you in the process of your struggle? Is it possible to take your journey ‘on the road’ in an effort to help others and in the sharing of your life, experience personal redemption?
Life legacy is accomplished when we move from simply surviving, to mingling our lives with others. When we pour into others, we are in turn blessed, as our life struggle becomes meaningful. Creating legacy might mean that you test the fence line of your comfort zone. It might mean that you enter into a room full of strangers or share an intimate detail of your life with someone you have actually known a long time. Legacy is an ultimate goal of life that can only be accomplished if you resolve to take your most difficult moments out of the pit where you experienced them, to a place where your hardships can inspire others. If it helps, try to remind yourself that perfect lives are hardly inspirational. Your offering to this world is enhanced because of the trials you have encountered.
This morning my friend texted me to say that her “cup is full”….so is mine. Shared life is beautiful.
Sonia Nelson